I had hopes, not high ones, but hopes, that perhaps our second child would sleep through the night much sooner than the first. As different as they may be in all other ways, the sleep thing is very similar. Now, Harper is much more easily soothed with a pacifier, which does help. But last night was a cold reality of waking up every hour... EVERY HOUR... to help this baby go back to sleep.
Ok, so it's partly my fault, and I take full responsibility. I do not believe in "crying it out". It's just not a method that I ever saw myself using, and never used with Gideon. When he got older, he definitely spent some crying moments in his bed, though never alone. I know that many parents have used this method and they have wonderfully well adjusted children, but for me and mine, I didn't feel right about leaving my kids to cry alone, in the dark.
When Gideon was a baby, I wasn't around other first time moms so I didn't have anyone going through the same things as I was. Now with Harper, I'm a little seasoned, and I have several other moms around. And what's better, is I am the one with the advice! Ha! It's a little scary, I know. Anyway, even though I am giving the advice at least one of them has an angel sleeping through the night and he's only 3 months old! What the frick?! Son of a..... Like I was saying, some of them however, are going through the wonderful growing pains of newborn-dom. I'm not alone anymore! And in some cases, I'm better off!
I realized that I'm in this funny place with the baby sleep thing. Where I truly believe that a baby needs his mommy, and I want to cuddle, and love on my little one, I do actually like to sleep too. I actually like feeling rested. I used to enjoy sleeping in until 10 on Saturdays. There in lies the problem. This little baby wakes up sporadically every one to three hours. The other night he actually had a five hour stretch and I thought I had died and gone to pre-baby land. I don't want to rush him, and I don't want him to be sad, but holy hell would I like a couple solid hours of sleep!
So, I'm in this weird place because some nights I think dammit baby you are going to sleep in,your bed if it's the last thing I do! And then the next day I think, but he's just a tiny baby, and he is just learning how to be alive in this world.
So tonight I'm in the latter frame of mind, even though he didn't nap well today and thus was ultra cranky leaving me to want to throw a bag of rocks at my own head and die. I will still be understanding that he is used to waking and sleeping whenever he pleases, always being comfortable, and always having everything he wants/needs when he wants/needs it. I mean at almost nine months he has still spent more of his life in the womb than out of it. The marathon continues...
And as I type this he wakes....
