Two Month Update

So the two month check up was AWFUL! Gideon got his shots. Three of them, and it was horrible. I felt personally responsible for the pain he went through. What do you do when your baby just stares at you screaming and crying and you can't pick him up? I almost cried.

Doctor says the "teeth" I am seeing are most likely bone nodules, and will just go away after a while. Which I say great, because no way am I ready for a teething babe.

By the way I am devastated we are leaving our doctor. She is the best doctor, and now we won't get to have her anymore... insert sad face here...

Anyway, he is now 11.6 pounds, and 23 1/2 inches. BIG BOY!

Two Months Down

Can he really be two months old already? It doesn't seem like it could be that long already. I am falling more in love with him everyday. He is the most wonderful person I have ever met, and yet he doesn't speak, walk, or eat on his own. He even often gives me a headache, yet He is still the most interesting person I know.

How does that happen?

Anyway, for those who are interested Gideon is now 11 pounds even, and 23 1/2 inches tall. He loves lying on his back and kicking and hitting, which we call "playtime". He HATES tummy time. He loves his swing. He loves to bounce.

Also, we think he may be teething already. On his bottom gums it looks like there are two very visible teeth just under the gums. I have been looking it up on the internet, and it sounds like early teething is more common than I thought. I was going to ask the DR, but I forgot my list. Classic grade A mom move.

Anyway, tummy time is over.

What is Wrong With Us?

In the scheme of things, I should have seen this coming. But I didn't. We're moving back to the LA area. After my parents being in town, and D's family being in town, we decided we really want G to grow up around family.

D and I both have very tight knit families, and remember what it was like growing up with all our cousins, and aunts and uncles. So we decided to move back. Also, had we known I was knocked up before the move, we may not have even come.

It's all very bittersweet. On one hand we are disappointed that life didn't pan out the way we planned here. And we have so many dear friends here. It's heartbreaking thinking of leaving them.

But in the long run, we must think about our son and what we want for his future.

SO, if anyone knows someone in the LA area who needs a teacher, or a good sound man, let me know!

Here we go again! Thumbs up!

The Story of Us

It all began on Friday May 13. Yes, Friday the 13th. I had a doctor's appointment that morning. I wrote earlier about my 38 week appointment, but not about my 39 week appointment where again I was examined. This time it was my doctor, who I LOVE, she was able to get to my cervix this time, but said it was still pretty hard.

That brings us to Friday the 13th, four days after my due date. I told D earlier that day, "If I'm not even a little dilated I'm going to cry!" So we see our doctor, and talk about where I am, and how I feel about induction. Wanting to have a natural child birth, I told her I didn't really want to be induced unless absolutely necessary. And because my doctor is the best in the land, she said that was fine, that I could go up to 2 weeks over my due date with no worries.

Then, just as she was going to do my exam, a nurse pops her head in the room and says, "You have to go. Now." To which my amazing doctor said, "Oh, crap. I'm so sorry. Ok, I have to go deliver a baby," and leaves.

Enter new male doctor I have never met in my life ready to crawl up in my business and investigate. Luckily for me, new male doctor was so nice, and I was very comfortable. He wasn't even supposed to be there. He happened to be in the office, so my angel doctor asked him to pop in on me and do my exam. So he comes in and asks me to fill him in on what we have going on. He then proceeds to go on up there. He was very apologetic, and nice, which is what anyone who is going up and digging around your hoo-ha should be. So he was up there and then HALLELUJAH!!!!! he says the magic words, "It looks like you're about 1 cm." I have never heard such sweet words!

So then he says, "I'm going to go ahead and strip your membrane, which is kind of like giving your baby a noogie." Ok, Doc, go ahead and knuckle my baby's head!

Then I was sent on my merry way. So I went to work. Yes, folks I was still working.

While at work I started to feel some more intense contractions than the braxton hicks contractions I had been having for the few weeks before. But, I was still able to walk through them so I kept working. Then, all of a sudden they got a lot more intense and were about 5-7 minutes apart, and I could no longer walk through them. SO I decided I better go home. So I drove home, yes while having contractions.

Let's do a time check here: 9:45 AM- doctor's appointment, 11:00- get to work, 1:15ish- leave work.

At about 1:30 I got home and called my wonderful doctor who happened to call me to check in with me about my exam. So we talked briefly and I told her what happened and then I said I was having intense contractions, and she was seriously surprised. Then I called my mom, who promptly left work to jump on a plane.

Enter D... wonderful husband that he is. He decides we are going to play Catan, for 4 hours! Kid you not. All the while playing D is timing my contractions as they are getting way more intense to where I could no longer talk through them.

Finally at 5:30 we decided it was time to go to the hospital. Not much more happened except lots of pain for quite a while. My mom arrived at about 9:30 PM.

If you live in the Portland area I definitely recommend the Family Birth Center at Adventist Medical Center. They are fantastic! I was able to do whatever made me feel most comfortable and the labor nurses were supportive and knowledgeable. I was able to use a birthing ball, private jacuzzi tub, walk the halls, lay any which way I want, etc.

Finally, when I was about 8 cm, at about 7 AM, my fabulous doctor arrived and broke my water. At which point the contractions got WAAAAY more intense. Then it was time to push. I wish I had been able to push the whole time! While pushing, for those who have never popped one out, the contractions aren't painful. They say that a first time mom will push from anywhere between 1 and 3 hours! I only had to push for 1, and it didn't feel that long.

Finally at 10:15 AM, the most beautiful boy in the whole world graced us with his presence. My wonderful doctor placed him on my tummy and I promptly repeated over and over, "Oh my God!"

It's so weird and surprising when they put that new baby on you, and all of a sudden the concept of having a baby becomes reality.

And that was that. No drugs. All natural. I felt great after, and was in the shower an hour after pushing a person through my vagina. Gideon was alert and latched really quick.

SO now, he is 6 weeks old, 9 lbs 14 oz and 21 1/2 inches long. And the most amazing baby EVER. Ever.

The Biggest Adventure

I lost my internet. I have now found it.

That said, our beautiful little boy was born. I cannot explain how in love with him I am. I have never felt this way about anything ever.

This is just a quick post to update, and I will update later with the full birth story, but for now...


Gideon Daniel
Born May 14th
6 lbs. 11 oz
20 1/2 inches
Most beautiful baby born. Ever.

Stripping

Today I had a doctor's appointment.

I didn't get to see my practitioner. She was out of town. I didn't know until yesterday during the confirmation call.

I saw another doctor.

At last weeks appointment my doctor said that this week she would check my cervix, and I could have my membrane stripped if I wanted. For those who are not familiar with membrane stripping, it's when they go up into your cervix with two fingers and sort of separate the walls a bit. It's supposed to be a natural way of inducing labor, though, as with most things in pregnancy, you never know. For some women it works, for some it doesn't.

Now, I am ready for this little boy, so I decided to have the procedure done back when I thought my doctor would be the one doing it.

I have never met the doctor that I would see today. And I certainly didn't want some strange man all up in my hoo ha.

Luckily I got a lady doctor. She was nice, and informative. She asked if I talked with my fantastic doctor about membrane stripping, and would I like to do this today.

To which I replied, "Sure."

She proceeded to ready herself (sanitizing, gloves, jelly) while explaining what was going to happen. She told me it would be very uncomfortable and possibly painful.

She went right in.... and in..... and in. I swear I didn't know someone could fit that far into my body. I mean she was tilting her head back like when you are trying to reach something under the couch and it's way far back there and so you lift your head up in the air to reach a little further. Then she proceeded to poke around a bit.

This went on for about an hour.

OK, not nearly an hour, maybe a minute, but when someone is digging around inside your vagina it feels like an hour. While poking around for my cervix she says, "Wow it's way up there."

No kidding.

She then removes her arm from my lady parts and says that the cervix still felt pretty hard and that I was 0-1 centimeters so she couldn't really get in there.

YOU STUCK YOUR WHOLE ARM IN AND POKED AROUND BUT YOU COULDN'T GET IN THERE??????????

But, she had a handful of blood which she said was good because at least we got things moving a little bit. Also, you could have some bleeding, but if it's just spotting that's fine, if you fill up a pad go to the hospital.

WHAT?! Go to the hospital to have my baby when my practitioner is out of town?!

So, I leave the doctor's office, with a pad on my undies, that I just about forgot how it feels to wear a pad, feeling very uncomfortable.

Then I begin to feel guilty. Here I am ready to meet this guy so much that I decided it would be a good idea to rush him along. I like to try to do things, anything in life really, naturally. This is a natural inducer. But what is more natural than letting the boy come when he's ready.

So now I feel horrible because I'm rushing him along, and if I have too much blood I may have put myself and him in danger.

I feel like a failure as a mom already.

I didn't think membrane stripping would be an emotional experience. But then, most things are right now.

Just about 39 weeks. Approximately 10 days to birth.

Moving Along

Things are moving faster than I'm ready for.

And yet, I am so excited and ready at the same time. I am so scared about how much my life is about to change, but I am so excited to begin this adventure.

D and I have been talking a lot lately about how we are REALLY feeling with this upcoming change. I feel so happy and anxious to meet this little human being who has already changed my life, and will continue to do so for the rest of my life.

At the same time I am almost grieving for the two of us. Nobody really talks about that part of bringing up a new baby into your family. But I think it's something that should be addressed. I feel like I need to grieve for what we are giving up. It will never be just the two of us again. We will never be this free to come and go as we please, and just... be. I know eventually in many, many years we will have some part of this again, once our children are all grown, but it will still never be the same.

We will never be young like this again. And I have to ready myself for that. When I first decided I wanted to try for this baby, I may have overlooked this just a bit. Not to say that I didn't think about it at all, but I think now that it's so close to becoming actuality, it's becoming a little harder to bear.

I suppose that I will feel differently once Gideon is born, and with his birth, the birth of a new love and purpose.

Things are moving so quickly.

38 weeks. Approximately 12 days to go.

Too Close

I can't believe it's almost over. It's all happening so fast......

We have 3 baby showers the next 3 weeks, and two sometime after that. My favorite thing about online registries is the ability to check them to see what you get. It's like shaking your presents under the Christmas tree!

It's too close....

32 weeks down. Approximately 8 weeks to go.

The Beginning of the End

I am now officially in my third trimester. It seems like everything has gone by so quickly. But now I am constantly thinking about what I need to do to ready myself, and my home for this baby.

I'm so excited about this little baby of mine, and I can't wait to meet him. I can already tell he is going to be active and keeping his mommy busy.

27 weeks, approximately 13 left.

Anemia

So I found out today that I am slightly anemic. That explains the whole heart rate thing I guess. So the doctor prescribed an iron supplement.

I'm just glad it isn't diabetes or a thyroid issue.

Still 27 weeks, approximately 13 to go...

A Weighty Subject

I just had my latest doctor check up yesterday. I am always fearful of that scale. I know it's good for me to gain the weight because that means that my boy is getting bigger, and he is healthy, but

I am so worried about losing the weight after he's born.

So far I have gained.... 21 pounds. I still have about 13 weeks to go.
I'm nervous about the way I will feel once the baby is born. I struggled a little with unhealthy eating habits due to my self image a few years ago, and I just don't want to experience that again. I'm so worried that I will fall back into that just to get back to the size I want to be.

Now on top of this weight gain, I have experienced my heart rate escalating. It only happened once, but when I mentioned it to my doctor she seemed slightly concerned. She said that it could be nothing, but it could also be a sign of a thyroid problem or anemia. Neither of which I would like to deal with. Luckily they took blood this week for my glucose test for gestational diabetes.

On a lighter note, this little boy is getting more and more active. Mostly when I am trying to fall asleep at night. It's so weird and awesome to feel, and watch him move around. I hope he will be just as active once he is born.

27 weeks, approximately 13 to go.

Progression

Time has flown, and yet not at all. I am now ending my fifth month of this pregnancy. I finally am beginning to actually feel like it's real. It could be to the fact that I officially have a belly, and inside said belly I am feeling the alien move.

The alien who it just so happens to be a boy. I am so thrilled to be having a boy. I can't explain why I wanted a boy so much more than a girl, but I did... I do.

So this little boy, named Gideon, will be mine whether he likes it or not.

I must confess that, while it is superbly cool, the movements I am feeling I cannot express the feeling like many other moms I have talked to. They all explain it as something you can't describe. The most wonderful experience. Like nothing you've ever felt before. The most amazing thing to feel your baby move for the first time.

Let me preface by saying I thouroughly enjoy feeling my little boy move. I think it's totally awesome, and it's true I can't explain the sensation. But I didn't become emotional the first time I felt him move. In fact it is totally possible that the first time I felt him move, I probably mistook it for gas or indegestion and promptly insterted two tums into my mouth. Even since I haven't felt the amazing wonderment of feeling my child inside me. It's sort of weird when you think about it. There is a living thing growing inside me. Stealing all my nutrients. Making me have to pee an ungodly amount.

I feel sort of alone in this. It seems every other mother has been overwhelmed by the first time her baby kicked. And while I do love to feel him kicking, it isn't an emotional experience for me. Perhaps I'm dead inside.

Other than that, I feel I'm doing a pretty good job at creating a good home for the little guy. I can't wait to meet him. And I can't believe I'm half way done.


Week 23 of pregnancy. Approximately 17 to go.

A New Life

Surprisingly enough, while I thought August was not "the" month, it turned out to be quite the opposite. I have been in the midst of a complete overhaul in my life. D and I moved back to Portland at the end of August and simultaneously found out that I was knocked up! This was both expected and unexpected. I've started a new job, and am now 18 weeks a long.

I even think I'm beginning to feel some movement. This week at our doctor's appointment we will hopefully find out the sex of the baby, and I can't wait!

This is now a chronicle of a my first pregnancy.
I'm not sure I'm ready for this ride....

18 weeks, approximately 22 to go.