The Boy Who Doesn't Stop

Why do we encourage our children to crawl, when all it does for us is create havoc, and uncertainty. No longer can I lay Gideon on the bed for a second while I grab something out of a drawer. As soon as I lay him on his back he flips himself over and quickly crawls to the edge of the bed. We can no longer take our eyes off of him for even one minute for fear of what he will find. And to think we made him suffer through tummy time so he would get to this step.

Apparently crawling is not enough. He is now crawling over to this over sized ottoman we have, pulling himself onto his feet, and playing, standing up, for as long as he possibly can.

You want proof....



As if we weren't in trouble before.

We started solids this week. I pureed some sweet potatoes. So far so good, but it's only been two days...

Oh, God what's next?

Milestones

Gideon has quickly moved passed scooting into crawling. He is now getting into EVERYTHING. He also just started pulling himself up onto his feet, and very wobbly stepping around a large ottoman.

I don't know what we are going to do. This kid is moving way too fast for his own good. Case in point: last night finding him sitting up on his knees, chewing on the railing of his crib, wide eyed, when he was supposed to be sleeping.

Which brings me back to the topic of sleeping. Not much has changed. I'm not sure how much I actually want him sleeping away from me. I love to cuddle with him. Especially after having been away from him all day, all I want to do is have him close to me. That said, it would be nice to have some "alone" time with D. Hopefully I will find a happy medium.

We have hit the 6 month mark, which doesn't seem possible. How could half a year have gone by already? We are getting ready to start solid foods. I'm thinking carrots or sweet potatoes. I bought a baby food cook book, since I don't want all the disgusting preservatives in his lil tum.

Otherwise we are having a blast.

Here's to the next 6 months! Lord help us....

Gideon Scooting

A little dark, but exciting anyway.

Just a Bit of Silliness Really....

Baby Prodigy

My son is a prodigy.

The end.

Ok, not really. But I swear he is. Ok, maybe not, but I think he is. Seriously.

He's 5 months and one week old. How did that happen? Seriously, how? He's huge! We've yet to have his next well baby visit since his 2 month visit. After moving, I have been waiting for the insurance to go through, then finding a good doctor is a challenge. BUT, I have both things now (!!!!) so visit will be happening soon(ish).

Here is why he is a prodigy:
At 5 months he is:
- laughing (ok this is 5 month old stock)
- babbling like crazy
- enjoying tummy time like a champ
- while on tummy time gets up on his hands and knees- at the same time
- says "mama" (although probably doesn't know what he's saying)

I can't even tell you the rest.

So maybe YOU don't think he's a prodigy, but he totally is.

Seriously.

The Joys of Parenting

As mentioned before, we are trying (mostly not though) to put our dear boy in his crib. My main motivation is so that D and I can have some much needed alone time. I say alone time, and what I mean is "sexy time". I'm not afraid to say it, I miss having sex with my husband. It wasn't always good (totally not his fault), but once it got good, it was GOOD. And now I could probably count the amount of times we've had sex, since we got the OK, on one hand. How sad is that?!

Needless to say, we have both been feeling the effects of the bottled up hormones. Mostly I have been feeling them because D likes to grope me in his sleep, while I am cuddling our little G. And as much as I want to return the favor promptly, there's something very wrong with having sex with your baby in the bed next to you. Brings a whole new meaning to the term "family bed".

Last night was one of the glorious nights that we were able to put Gideon down in his crib for a little bit. At that point it was screw foreplay, let's get on with the main event. So things were going great, and then we hear movement, and a little sigh. So then it becomes get it done, oh dear God get it done fast!

And we did....

It may not have been magical, but it was worth it.

Then I slept the rest of the night topless, in my pants commando, because I had to hurry and feed the boy.

Ah, the life of a mother.... and father.

Hands Off

Why is it that people believe it is their right to touch any baby passing by. Today the three of us were out and three different women decided they were allowed to touch Gideon. I don't mean three women who were together, I mean three different women in three different parts of the store. Now, at least two of them just touched his feet, but the other old broad touched my little baby's hand! I don't know where her hands have been. Did she pick her nose, cough on her hands, wash them after using the toilet? I don't know! And now anything she did/touched/picked is all over my little baby's chubby little fingers.

Yes, I know he is irresistibly adorable and all you want to do is eat every one of his delicious sausage toes one by one just before sucking his cheeks up like an oyster, but seriously, you.are.a.stranger.

I feel like people, ok women, believe once they have had children they are required to give unwanted advice, tell stories of "when my babies were born", and touch pregnant women and their babies. I remember when I was pregnant every woman I ever encountered, including passers by, giving me advice and telling me stories about when they were pregnant. Luckily for me, I never had the weird lady in the store corner me with her hands out and rub my belly, but I am sure that would not have gone over well. Now every Cindy Loo Who that passes by feels the need, desire, nay the right to touch my son.

I want to slap them. I want to slap them all. Perhaps I will...

You Don't Have to Cry

Who ever heard of a baby who hated being in a car? Typically babies enjoy car rides. Typically babies fall asleep while on a car ride. My son is soooo not typical. Pretty much from the beginning he has always screamed and cried the entire time in the car/car seat. Nothing helps. Nothing. Don't ask, "Have you tried..." I have, and it didn't work.

He's gotten better, but still HATES it. Over Labor day weekend we went to visit D's family. 6 hours in the car and I was dreading it! When we moved back the two eight hour days left Gideon with a hoarse voice for days after, so I was again prepared to experience the wailing baby. He did much better than I expected, and sometimes.... sometimes he does better when someone is in the back with him. But other times he just sits there with his eyes piercing yours and saying, "you cruel woman, why won't pick me up?"

Alright now for the controversy. We have started with the sleeping problems. OK not problems per se, and I think most of the reason I think it's a problem is because of all the well to do, older adults telling me it's a problem. Lately we have been struggling putting G down to sleep in his crib. He used to do great. He would let us put him down no problem and then sleep for hours, and only wake for feedings and go right back to sleep. But over the last few weeks he has been staying up much later (I'm talking doesn't go to sleep until 10:30), won't be put down, and won't stay asleep.

Now, I never thought I would be this way, but I don't think I can do the "cry it out" method. I never really thought about it before having kids, but I didn't realize how hard it would be to let your baby cry when you have the ability to respond to him immediately. We started doing research, and there is a "no cry" method where you do respond to your baby immediately. They say it will take longer for your baby to stay asleep through the night with this method, but it does work, and you don't have to feel guilty about leaving your poor little baby to cry.

Here's the other thing. Everyone is constantly asking if he is sleeping through the night yet, or eating solid foods, or formula, and when I reply, "No." to all of the above they give me a shocked face. Now when I was first asked these questions I felt the need to explain myself, and almost apologetically, but now I am confident and it just pisses me off. These are things that are not natural for my baby to do. I am doing what is right for my son, and no one has the right to make me feel like I am not. My son is happy, and healthy, and that is because I don't let him cry it out, I feed him breast milk only, and I feed him as often as he wants/needs including in the middle of the night.

My favorite is when young girls or other people who have never had children critique my parenting. Idiots. They have no idea.

Gideon's four month check up is coming up. I still haven't found him a pediatrician. Any ideas?

Three...

Three months. For three months I have been the mother of a beautiful, funny baby boy.

Gideon turned three months old yesterday. It doesn't seem like three months could have already passed. None the less, he is progressing at an incredible rate.

Tummy time is getting better. He is now able to push himself up, and he seems very proud of himself when he does. This picture is from the first time he pushed up, but since then he is able to push himself up so his chest is all the way up.

He can sit up really well, even in his booster seat, which he sat in for the first time today! It's the little things in life that we care about.

He LOVES his seahorse. He loves high fives, and kisses from Mom and Dad. He thinks it's hysterical when he spits up all over people.

His personality is really developing, and it is amazing to see it happen before my eyes. I always knew that the love I would have for my child would be one I have never felt before, but I never knew what that would mean. I almost doesn't feel like love, it's sort of unexplainable. I am so proud of every little babble, every burp, every poop, every little milestone. It makes me so excited for what is to come.

No doctor's appointment until next month so I'm not sure how much he weighs, though I'm sure it's at least 12 pounds by now. I measured him the other day and he was 24 inches long. He's eating like a champ so I'm sure he is gaining weight like nobody's business.

I thought my milk production was diminishing a couple weeks ago. Looking at it now, I think he was beginning to eat more, and my body was having a hard time catching up. I started taking some special milk jug supplements, and drinking extra water, and like magic I started spraying everyone in the face again. Ok, not everyone, just D and Gideon, and occasionally myself.

Anyway, here's to Gideon. The big three month old boy in my life. Love you buddy boy!

Five Years and Counting

Five years ago yesterday we stood in a church and promised to love and cherish each other until we croak. Then we had a big fat party in the back yard.

At that point we planned to not have children until we had been married five years. A good solid plan. We would give ourselves time to adjust to being "us", to learn one another, to just be. A lot of things we planned for have not come to fruition, or just didn't turn out the way we thought. But this one, this one did. We made it almost to five years without an accidental pregnancy. We have moved seven times, twice state to state. We have learned how to laugh at each other, and, more importantly, ourselves.

And now, at this landmark, we are parents together. On the day Gideon was born I gave D a card to congratulate him on being a dad, and to tell him how excited and honored I am to be able to be on this journey with him. There is no one else in the world who can put up with me. And there is no one else in the world who has always kept my interest. And now, I can say that he is the only person I would ever want to call my partner in parenting. We are able to take the balance we have used in our marriage and carry it over to raising our child.

Now I'm not saying that we are the epitome of a good marriage, and the perfect parents. But, what I can say is that we are perfect for each other, and together we are learning to be just what our little boy needs.

Also, if you ever wondered if all you can eat sushi is worth the price, it TOTALLY IS! Except, we also learned that there IS such a thing as too much sushi.

P.S. Gideon is almost 3 moths old! AHHH!

Two Month Update

So the two month check up was AWFUL! Gideon got his shots. Three of them, and it was horrible. I felt personally responsible for the pain he went through. What do you do when your baby just stares at you screaming and crying and you can't pick him up? I almost cried.

Doctor says the "teeth" I am seeing are most likely bone nodules, and will just go away after a while. Which I say great, because no way am I ready for a teething babe.

By the way I am devastated we are leaving our doctor. She is the best doctor, and now we won't get to have her anymore... insert sad face here...

Anyway, he is now 11.6 pounds, and 23 1/2 inches. BIG BOY!

Two Months Down

Can he really be two months old already? It doesn't seem like it could be that long already. I am falling more in love with him everyday. He is the most wonderful person I have ever met, and yet he doesn't speak, walk, or eat on his own. He even often gives me a headache, yet He is still the most interesting person I know.

How does that happen?

Anyway, for those who are interested Gideon is now 11 pounds even, and 23 1/2 inches tall. He loves lying on his back and kicking and hitting, which we call "playtime". He HATES tummy time. He loves his swing. He loves to bounce.

Also, we think he may be teething already. On his bottom gums it looks like there are two very visible teeth just under the gums. I have been looking it up on the internet, and it sounds like early teething is more common than I thought. I was going to ask the DR, but I forgot my list. Classic grade A mom move.

Anyway, tummy time is over.

What is Wrong With Us?

In the scheme of things, I should have seen this coming. But I didn't. We're moving back to the LA area. After my parents being in town, and D's family being in town, we decided we really want G to grow up around family.

D and I both have very tight knit families, and remember what it was like growing up with all our cousins, and aunts and uncles. So we decided to move back. Also, had we known I was knocked up before the move, we may not have even come.

It's all very bittersweet. On one hand we are disappointed that life didn't pan out the way we planned here. And we have so many dear friends here. It's heartbreaking thinking of leaving them.

But in the long run, we must think about our son and what we want for his future.

SO, if anyone knows someone in the LA area who needs a teacher, or a good sound man, let me know!

Here we go again! Thumbs up!

The Story of Us

It all began on Friday May 13. Yes, Friday the 13th. I had a doctor's appointment that morning. I wrote earlier about my 38 week appointment, but not about my 39 week appointment where again I was examined. This time it was my doctor, who I LOVE, she was able to get to my cervix this time, but said it was still pretty hard.

That brings us to Friday the 13th, four days after my due date. I told D earlier that day, "If I'm not even a little dilated I'm going to cry!" So we see our doctor, and talk about where I am, and how I feel about induction. Wanting to have a natural child birth, I told her I didn't really want to be induced unless absolutely necessary. And because my doctor is the best in the land, she said that was fine, that I could go up to 2 weeks over my due date with no worries.

Then, just as she was going to do my exam, a nurse pops her head in the room and says, "You have to go. Now." To which my amazing doctor said, "Oh, crap. I'm so sorry. Ok, I have to go deliver a baby," and leaves.

Enter new male doctor I have never met in my life ready to crawl up in my business and investigate. Luckily for me, new male doctor was so nice, and I was very comfortable. He wasn't even supposed to be there. He happened to be in the office, so my angel doctor asked him to pop in on me and do my exam. So he comes in and asks me to fill him in on what we have going on. He then proceeds to go on up there. He was very apologetic, and nice, which is what anyone who is going up and digging around your hoo-ha should be. So he was up there and then HALLELUJAH!!!!! he says the magic words, "It looks like you're about 1 cm." I have never heard such sweet words!

So then he says, "I'm going to go ahead and strip your membrane, which is kind of like giving your baby a noogie." Ok, Doc, go ahead and knuckle my baby's head!

Then I was sent on my merry way. So I went to work. Yes, folks I was still working.

While at work I started to feel some more intense contractions than the braxton hicks contractions I had been having for the few weeks before. But, I was still able to walk through them so I kept working. Then, all of a sudden they got a lot more intense and were about 5-7 minutes apart, and I could no longer walk through them. SO I decided I better go home. So I drove home, yes while having contractions.

Let's do a time check here: 9:45 AM- doctor's appointment, 11:00- get to work, 1:15ish- leave work.

At about 1:30 I got home and called my wonderful doctor who happened to call me to check in with me about my exam. So we talked briefly and I told her what happened and then I said I was having intense contractions, and she was seriously surprised. Then I called my mom, who promptly left work to jump on a plane.

Enter D... wonderful husband that he is. He decides we are going to play Catan, for 4 hours! Kid you not. All the while playing D is timing my contractions as they are getting way more intense to where I could no longer talk through them.

Finally at 5:30 we decided it was time to go to the hospital. Not much more happened except lots of pain for quite a while. My mom arrived at about 9:30 PM.

If you live in the Portland area I definitely recommend the Family Birth Center at Adventist Medical Center. They are fantastic! I was able to do whatever made me feel most comfortable and the labor nurses were supportive and knowledgeable. I was able to use a birthing ball, private jacuzzi tub, walk the halls, lay any which way I want, etc.

Finally, when I was about 8 cm, at about 7 AM, my fabulous doctor arrived and broke my water. At which point the contractions got WAAAAY more intense. Then it was time to push. I wish I had been able to push the whole time! While pushing, for those who have never popped one out, the contractions aren't painful. They say that a first time mom will push from anywhere between 1 and 3 hours! I only had to push for 1, and it didn't feel that long.

Finally at 10:15 AM, the most beautiful boy in the whole world graced us with his presence. My wonderful doctor placed him on my tummy and I promptly repeated over and over, "Oh my God!"

It's so weird and surprising when they put that new baby on you, and all of a sudden the concept of having a baby becomes reality.

And that was that. No drugs. All natural. I felt great after, and was in the shower an hour after pushing a person through my vagina. Gideon was alert and latched really quick.

SO now, he is 6 weeks old, 9 lbs 14 oz and 21 1/2 inches long. And the most amazing baby EVER. Ever.

The Biggest Adventure

I lost my internet. I have now found it.

That said, our beautiful little boy was born. I cannot explain how in love with him I am. I have never felt this way about anything ever.

This is just a quick post to update, and I will update later with the full birth story, but for now...


Gideon Daniel
Born May 14th
6 lbs. 11 oz
20 1/2 inches
Most beautiful baby born. Ever.

Stripping

Today I had a doctor's appointment.

I didn't get to see my practitioner. She was out of town. I didn't know until yesterday during the confirmation call.

I saw another doctor.

At last weeks appointment my doctor said that this week she would check my cervix, and I could have my membrane stripped if I wanted. For those who are not familiar with membrane stripping, it's when they go up into your cervix with two fingers and sort of separate the walls a bit. It's supposed to be a natural way of inducing labor, though, as with most things in pregnancy, you never know. For some women it works, for some it doesn't.

Now, I am ready for this little boy, so I decided to have the procedure done back when I thought my doctor would be the one doing it.

I have never met the doctor that I would see today. And I certainly didn't want some strange man all up in my hoo ha.

Luckily I got a lady doctor. She was nice, and informative. She asked if I talked with my fantastic doctor about membrane stripping, and would I like to do this today.

To which I replied, "Sure."

She proceeded to ready herself (sanitizing, gloves, jelly) while explaining what was going to happen. She told me it would be very uncomfortable and possibly painful.

She went right in.... and in..... and in. I swear I didn't know someone could fit that far into my body. I mean she was tilting her head back like when you are trying to reach something under the couch and it's way far back there and so you lift your head up in the air to reach a little further. Then she proceeded to poke around a bit.

This went on for about an hour.

OK, not nearly an hour, maybe a minute, but when someone is digging around inside your vagina it feels like an hour. While poking around for my cervix she says, "Wow it's way up there."

No kidding.

She then removes her arm from my lady parts and says that the cervix still felt pretty hard and that I was 0-1 centimeters so she couldn't really get in there.

YOU STUCK YOUR WHOLE ARM IN AND POKED AROUND BUT YOU COULDN'T GET IN THERE??????????

But, she had a handful of blood which she said was good because at least we got things moving a little bit. Also, you could have some bleeding, but if it's just spotting that's fine, if you fill up a pad go to the hospital.

WHAT?! Go to the hospital to have my baby when my practitioner is out of town?!

So, I leave the doctor's office, with a pad on my undies, that I just about forgot how it feels to wear a pad, feeling very uncomfortable.

Then I begin to feel guilty. Here I am ready to meet this guy so much that I decided it would be a good idea to rush him along. I like to try to do things, anything in life really, naturally. This is a natural inducer. But what is more natural than letting the boy come when he's ready.

So now I feel horrible because I'm rushing him along, and if I have too much blood I may have put myself and him in danger.

I feel like a failure as a mom already.

I didn't think membrane stripping would be an emotional experience. But then, most things are right now.

Just about 39 weeks. Approximately 10 days to birth.

Moving Along

Things are moving faster than I'm ready for.

And yet, I am so excited and ready at the same time. I am so scared about how much my life is about to change, but I am so excited to begin this adventure.

D and I have been talking a lot lately about how we are REALLY feeling with this upcoming change. I feel so happy and anxious to meet this little human being who has already changed my life, and will continue to do so for the rest of my life.

At the same time I am almost grieving for the two of us. Nobody really talks about that part of bringing up a new baby into your family. But I think it's something that should be addressed. I feel like I need to grieve for what we are giving up. It will never be just the two of us again. We will never be this free to come and go as we please, and just... be. I know eventually in many, many years we will have some part of this again, once our children are all grown, but it will still never be the same.

We will never be young like this again. And I have to ready myself for that. When I first decided I wanted to try for this baby, I may have overlooked this just a bit. Not to say that I didn't think about it at all, but I think now that it's so close to becoming actuality, it's becoming a little harder to bear.

I suppose that I will feel differently once Gideon is born, and with his birth, the birth of a new love and purpose.

Things are moving so quickly.

38 weeks. Approximately 12 days to go.

Too Close

I can't believe it's almost over. It's all happening so fast......

We have 3 baby showers the next 3 weeks, and two sometime after that. My favorite thing about online registries is the ability to check them to see what you get. It's like shaking your presents under the Christmas tree!

It's too close....

32 weeks down. Approximately 8 weeks to go.

The Beginning of the End

I am now officially in my third trimester. It seems like everything has gone by so quickly. But now I am constantly thinking about what I need to do to ready myself, and my home for this baby.

I'm so excited about this little baby of mine, and I can't wait to meet him. I can already tell he is going to be active and keeping his mommy busy.

27 weeks, approximately 13 left.

Anemia

So I found out today that I am slightly anemic. That explains the whole heart rate thing I guess. So the doctor prescribed an iron supplement.

I'm just glad it isn't diabetes or a thyroid issue.

Still 27 weeks, approximately 13 to go...

A Weighty Subject

I just had my latest doctor check up yesterday. I am always fearful of that scale. I know it's good for me to gain the weight because that means that my boy is getting bigger, and he is healthy, but

I am so worried about losing the weight after he's born.

So far I have gained.... 21 pounds. I still have about 13 weeks to go.
I'm nervous about the way I will feel once the baby is born. I struggled a little with unhealthy eating habits due to my self image a few years ago, and I just don't want to experience that again. I'm so worried that I will fall back into that just to get back to the size I want to be.

Now on top of this weight gain, I have experienced my heart rate escalating. It only happened once, but when I mentioned it to my doctor she seemed slightly concerned. She said that it could be nothing, but it could also be a sign of a thyroid problem or anemia. Neither of which I would like to deal with. Luckily they took blood this week for my glucose test for gestational diabetes.

On a lighter note, this little boy is getting more and more active. Mostly when I am trying to fall asleep at night. It's so weird and awesome to feel, and watch him move around. I hope he will be just as active once he is born.

27 weeks, approximately 13 to go.

Progression

Time has flown, and yet not at all. I am now ending my fifth month of this pregnancy. I finally am beginning to actually feel like it's real. It could be to the fact that I officially have a belly, and inside said belly I am feeling the alien move.

The alien who it just so happens to be a boy. I am so thrilled to be having a boy. I can't explain why I wanted a boy so much more than a girl, but I did... I do.

So this little boy, named Gideon, will be mine whether he likes it or not.

I must confess that, while it is superbly cool, the movements I am feeling I cannot express the feeling like many other moms I have talked to. They all explain it as something you can't describe. The most wonderful experience. Like nothing you've ever felt before. The most amazing thing to feel your baby move for the first time.

Let me preface by saying I thouroughly enjoy feeling my little boy move. I think it's totally awesome, and it's true I can't explain the sensation. But I didn't become emotional the first time I felt him move. In fact it is totally possible that the first time I felt him move, I probably mistook it for gas or indegestion and promptly insterted two tums into my mouth. Even since I haven't felt the amazing wonderment of feeling my child inside me. It's sort of weird when you think about it. There is a living thing growing inside me. Stealing all my nutrients. Making me have to pee an ungodly amount.

I feel sort of alone in this. It seems every other mother has been overwhelmed by the first time her baby kicked. And while I do love to feel him kicking, it isn't an emotional experience for me. Perhaps I'm dead inside.

Other than that, I feel I'm doing a pretty good job at creating a good home for the little guy. I can't wait to meet him. And I can't believe I'm half way done.


Week 23 of pregnancy. Approximately 17 to go.