Moving Along

Things are moving faster than I'm ready for.

And yet, I am so excited and ready at the same time. I am so scared about how much my life is about to change, but I am so excited to begin this adventure.

D and I have been talking a lot lately about how we are REALLY feeling with this upcoming change. I feel so happy and anxious to meet this little human being who has already changed my life, and will continue to do so for the rest of my life.

At the same time I am almost grieving for the two of us. Nobody really talks about that part of bringing up a new baby into your family. But I think it's something that should be addressed. I feel like I need to grieve for what we are giving up. It will never be just the two of us again. We will never be this free to come and go as we please, and just... be. I know eventually in many, many years we will have some part of this again, once our children are all grown, but it will still never be the same.

We will never be young like this again. And I have to ready myself for that. When I first decided I wanted to try for this baby, I may have overlooked this just a bit. Not to say that I didn't think about it at all, but I think now that it's so close to becoming actuality, it's becoming a little harder to bear.

I suppose that I will feel differently once Gideon is born, and with his birth, the birth of a new love and purpose.

Things are moving so quickly.

38 weeks. Approximately 12 days to go.