Hands Off

Why is it that people believe it is their right to touch any baby passing by. Today the three of us were out and three different women decided they were allowed to touch Gideon. I don't mean three women who were together, I mean three different women in three different parts of the store. Now, at least two of them just touched his feet, but the other old broad touched my little baby's hand! I don't know where her hands have been. Did she pick her nose, cough on her hands, wash them after using the toilet? I don't know! And now anything she did/touched/picked is all over my little baby's chubby little fingers.

Yes, I know he is irresistibly adorable and all you want to do is eat every one of his delicious sausage toes one by one just before sucking his cheeks up like an oyster, but seriously, you.are.a.stranger.

I feel like people, ok women, believe once they have had children they are required to give unwanted advice, tell stories of "when my babies were born", and touch pregnant women and their babies. I remember when I was pregnant every woman I ever encountered, including passers by, giving me advice and telling me stories about when they were pregnant. Luckily for me, I never had the weird lady in the store corner me with her hands out and rub my belly, but I am sure that would not have gone over well. Now every Cindy Loo Who that passes by feels the need, desire, nay the right to touch my son.

I want to slap them. I want to slap them all. Perhaps I will...