One and Some

I could be the worst mommy blogger ever. It's taken me almost a whole month to post on Gideon's first birthday. The big one. He is crazy. He is wonderful. Everyone is always commenting on how cute he is and I'm sorry but I can't be humble or modest about it, I just say, "I know, right?"

He is RUNNING around, he squats down and gets up. He falls down, and usually doesn't even cry about it, but just gets right back up and runs.

And the kid is skinny. 10th percentile. Meanwhile, 90th percentile for height, and 75th percentile in head circumference! Holy God! It's amazing the kid doesn't fall over from the weight of that noggin.

It seems like I'm in a time warp sometimes. It can't really be possible that a year ago the baby was born. Not only that, but I was already back at work. I only took 3 weeks off. Three weeks! Physically I was totally ready. Emotionally, I am still not ready. I thought eventually it would be no problem leaving for work in the morning. But it is a problem. I am so jealous of the time D has with him. Every day I wish I could just stay home and cuddle and play. Stay at home moms, you have a hard job, but you also have the best job. I would give anything to trade places.

Now, our sleeping is a roller coaster. Some nights are great, some are terrible. I don't know what it is. I do the same routine, at the same time every night. Two nights ago I thought we had a breakthrough. The kid didn't wake up until 4:45 AM! I thought I died. It was awesome. I even had drool dripping from my mouth when I woke up. So when I put him to bed last night, I was hopeful. I thought maybe we would have a repeat.

WRONG!

Kids goes down at 9:30. Wakes up at 11:30. Wakes up at 1:30. Wakes up at 5:15, at which point D decides to spread out all over the bed, and well I have to get up in an hour anyway, so I lay the monster down and leave.

I'm not sure what we are doing wrong. I feel like we are doing everything right, and yet the boy is still waking up. This is the sole reason I keep feeling like I don't want to have anymore kids. I'm being serious. I cannot take another year or two (God help us if it takes that long) of my life living like a zombie. I.just.can't. So unless something improves, we may be a family of three.