One day when your child turns about 2 years old, something miraculous happens.
That child recognizes their own ability to assert their wants and needs. It's a beautiful chaotic beginning to a long difficult life for child and parent.
The child has a new super power that enables them to be the parent's worse nightmare and greatest accomplishment all at the same time.
But this is not the most miraculous part of the process. Unbeknownst to them, the parent will awake one day with the ability to speak a different language. While this seems like a gift, the parent has no control when they will speak the new language. This is a language which is not understandable by the toddler, and will even at times make the parent say something that clearly means the opposite of what they actually mean.
Example:
Parent: Harper please pick up that toy you threw across the room.
Child: NOOOOO!!!!!!!!! (picks up another toy and chucks it at parent)
Parent: You need to pick that up right now, and say sorry to Mommy.
Child: NOOOOO!!!! I go play in my room.
Parent: If you walk away you are going to have time out.
Child: (walks away)
You can envision the rest of the scenario......
God help us.
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