Milkin' It- Latching

When I started writing on this topic I realized that there is so much to cover with breastfeeding that I need to break it down into smaller chunks. 

This topic: Latching

Let's start with the basics. What we know is that breastmilk is amazing. It's been called "liquid gold" by many. I mean formula producers are always trying to mimic breastmilk as closely as they can for a reason. I have definitely shed a few tears when accidentally spilling some pumped milk.

Let's talk Latching

When your baby connects his itty bitty lil mouth to your sensitive, probably chapped, giant nipple it's called a latch. For a "good" latch your baby must open super wide, otherwise you risk lots of discomfort. In my experience, the latch of your baby is extremely important. When you have a good latch you know baby is getting a good amount of milk, and your nipples will be ever so happy. When you have a bad latch baby has a sad tummy, and your nipples are cracked, red, and possibly bleeding. No bueno! 

There's lots of ways to get a good latch. It was explained to me like this: 

Stick out your pointer finger on one hand- that's your nip
















With the other hand make it look like a mouth-
that's baby's mouth

The important part is the placement of your baby's mouth on your nipple. If you place your baby's mouth straight on to the nipple that's going to make your nipple bend, not good! This happened to me with Gideon and I thought I was going to die.

You want your nipple to go in deep, so baby's head has to kind of go up and over. I'm no lactation consultant, so I'm not sure how to explain it. I'm much better with a visual!

Here's a graphic for you:

Now, it may look easy, and eventually it will be, but it's just not at first. It can be very frustrating, especially when your baby is crying his face off because he's hungry. When I first started breastfeeding I assumed my baby would just know what to do, but that is not the case. Nursing is just like everything else; your baby has to learn how to do it, and how to do it right. It's essential that your baby latches well for your sake and his. 

There are so many factors that can hinder a good latch: sore nipples, small baby mouths, giant nipples, tongue tie, engorgement, inverted nipples, etc. If you experience ANY discomfort see a lactation consultant pronto! Those women are angels sent from heaven. They have so many tricks it's amazing. They can help you get a good latch. I promise it's possible!

Even after nursing two babies, I learned something new about latching. Who knew about the frenum and didn't tell me?!

Basically, latching is about as important to breastfeeding as the milk itself. Don't give up just because it's uncomfortable. The discomfort goes away. Just make sure to talk to your child's pediatrician or see a lactation consultant right away. Shoot, ask a friend who breastfeeds to watch her technique. 

If I am said friend, holla at me girl!

Get This Baby Out of Me!

My first post in the "What's Normal" series is about what happens to you when you go past your due date.

As you get further into your pregnancy you start to realize many things:

Everything is sore
Sleeping is over
Your face can have more than two chins
Acne isn't just for teenagers
Farting just happens
You hate all maternity clothes
You really need a drink
Nothing is funny
You'll do anything, ANYTHING to get that baby OUT

I did. When I went to work on my due date with my first baby, all of my wonderful co-workers felt the need to say, "What are you doing here?", and "Isn't today your due date?", and "Wow, you haven't even dropped!" To all of which I gracefully nodded and smiled on the outside, while quietly crying on the inside. Granted he was my first baby, and I had no idea what to expect. So I looked up what I could do to get things going, and I tried a gamut of things.

Eat a whole cabbage-- check
Walk-- check
Sex-- check
Exersize-- check
Stripping membranes-- check, check, and check

It was the third time that finally did it...

Now, with my last baby things went a little differently. By this time I knew that none of those (see above list) worked. Nothing works. Don't try it! Your baby is happy and warm and comfortable and not willing to leave his happy little home until he's darn well ready. Don't pressure him!!! It just makes it worse! Of course the alternative is not any better. As I was sure to find out.

I tried the membrane stripping again, and initially it helped. Of course Cyrus didn't grace us all with his precious little self until a good WEEK later! And thus begins the depression. Yes I knew about postpartum depression, but I didn't know about pregnancy depression.

Here's where we get a little real.

Many women experience some form of depression during pregnancy. Depression is some serious shit. Don't feel bad if you are pregnant and suffering through depression. Get help. Right now. Stop reading this right now and call your doctor. I'm serious.

I was lucky that I didn't start the depression until the very end of my pregnancy. But when every single day you think you're going into labor and then after hours and hours of contractions they.just.stop. It gets very frustrating. The day before I finally gave birth to Cyrus I woke up and couldn't get out of bed. My body was sore. I hadn't slept more than a couple of hours a night. I was 10 days over my due date. I was super frustrated and tired, and I just couldn't. I couldn't get out of bed. You know how people say they want to pull the covers over their head and hide. Well, that's exactly what I did. I didn't get out of my bed. I just laid there and cried. I don't even know what I looked like when I finally emerged, but I know I gave Daniel a scare. The rest of the day is a blur. I actually don't remember it.

Moral of the story is, waiting for your baby is pretty damn hard. There is no part of it that is easy. You don't have to try to find the positive. If you need to sulk, sulk. Be sad if you need to. But if you feel like you're falling into a dark pit without any way out, get help. Don't be alone. And know this: you are a part of something bigger than yourself. You are about to receive the most amazing, difficult gift you could ever be given. I won't say it is all worth it, because I'm not sure it is. But you will get through it. I did. So did many others.

You can do this!

What's Normal

You'd think by the third baby I would have experienced everything possible. You'd think there would be no more surprises. You'd think that wouldn't you.

Nope. There are lots of surprises. Like, hey, did you know your baby boy could lactate? Did you know your baby girl can have a baby period? Yeah me either.

So due to this, and many other reasons, namely that no one tells you anything you really need to know before it happens to you!!!! I mean there are so many things that happen to you during and after pregnancy that no one thinks to tell you. I don't think people are hiding the truth, I just think that so many women black out those parts that they don't think about it until it's too late to warn new moms.

Enough of the rant....

Due to this I have decided to do a series of posts about pregnancy and postpartum. I am by no means an expert so PLEASE DO NOT take my advice as medical. It is purely anecdotal and from my own experience, and also lots of searches and reading on babycenter.com .

I would encourage any other moms who have experience with these topics to add their comments to this post so any other women who come across it will have those to look to as well.

I mean, we're all in this thing together!

It Happened To Me

Have you ever read those "It happened to me" sections in Parents magazine or newsletter?

They always give some horrible story about something that all parents do, that they know they shouldn't. You know, like when you place your baby in the car seat on the child seat of the shopping cart. You know you're not supposed to but who really ever heard of a baby actually falling off of the cart? Parents magazine that's who!

I had just such a moment the other night. Though I'm not sure anyone ever thought this could happen.

True Story: It happened to me; my infant choked on his sock!

I was happily sleeping in the middle of the night (which is rare since I have a 6 week old), when I was suddenly awakened by my infant screaming and coughing. I turned him on his side and patted his back while he violently screamed and thrashed about. I picked him up and felt his face, no spit up. Felt the mattress, no spit up there. Hmmmm... As my sweet little baby nursed I started feeling around on his bed and there it was. His sock. Soaked.

Now, I have no idea how he managed to get the sock off, let alone get it into his mouth. But it happened. True story.

So now of course I have to ban all socks on him at bed time.

Beware moms and dads... it could happen to you too.....

A Day In the Life

Some days are better than others.
This is just one of them...

Good morning?

Yes, my kitchen is a mess.

Sometimes they get along.

Uneaten waffle and last night's dinner on Harper's seat.

The carseat is the devil.

Feeding #239589374950

Never leaves my side. Ever.

Nap time! 

Lunch time!

So helpful to have a 3 year old wrapped around my feet while I do dishes. 

I don't even know how long this clean laundry has been there....

Someone hurt himself...

Oh no! I turned off the T.V.

Still mad....

Finally nap time for EVERYONE!

Post nap cuddle party

It's so nice to get to change two different size butts.

Riding bikes is hard

I can't even remember

All that hard work...

Bed time.

Not pictured:

2089745878787 feedings for the baby.

3 year old laying across my lap while I try to go to the bathroom.

Fatty Fatty 2x4

Here's the latest in the weight gain story:

Just when you think you've solved a problem, that exact same problem reappears!!!

After the amazing weight gain we experienced, a week later this tiny baby went back down in weight!!! Not by a significant amount, but enough.

The doctor, of course, wanted me to start supplementing with formula. Every time I hear that from the doctors I want to shove their faces into my freezer which is overflowing with so much breastmilk that I'm going to have to start throwing everything else out of there in order to make room for more. Sorry guys, no more frozen waffles for breakfast, Mommy's a milk machine.

Anyways, the thought was that maybe my milk isn't super fatty. So what do I do? What any other semi-crazy-worried mom would do. I searched "how to increase fat in breastmilk".

At first, there were articles saying there is no way to increase fat. Just ways to access the more fatty milk already in your breasts. Not what I wanted. But then I came upon this other mom's blog who said that she used a supplement called Sunflower Lecithin to increase the fat content in her milk.

Thus I began a steady regimen of pumping before feeding to make sure he gets the "hind milk", supplement with some defrosted colostrum by syringe, and take the sunflower lecithin.

We went back to the doctor 4 days later, and lo and behold, baby gained 4 ounces! What the heck?! That's the most he's gained in his whole life since birth!

I don't know what it is. Maybe all the stuff I've been doing. Maybe divine intervention from all the prayer I've been getting. Maybe Cyrus is just taking his sweet time. I don't really care. I just hope it keeps going.

We go back to the doctor in a week. I'm hoping baby is 10 pounds by then.

It Gets Harder

People usually say that the third baby comes earlier than the others. They say the baby just slides right out.

Those people are liars.

Here's the truth. It gets harder. So.much.harder.

This baby is, by far, the hardest one yet.

11 days late. Suuuuper long labor. "Sunny-side up". And that's just the beginning...

When we went for his first check up with the pediatrician and lactation consultant we found out he had lost 12% of his birth weight. This is apparently high, as the norm is 10% or lower. I was, at this point advised to continue nursing him and then also supplement with 10 mls of milk by syringe. Luckily/unluckily for me, I am making lots of milk.

(It's great yes, but it also hurts like a mother, and makes me wake in the middle of the night to pump.)

That was Friday. So, I do this and then I have to go back on Monday for a weight check with another pediatrician I have never met before.

Monday comes around: He gets weighed and his weight has gone up, but apparently not satisfactorily enough for Dr. I-wear-a-lizard-on-my-stethescope-so-that-must-mean-I'm-a-good-baby-doctor. This man should immediately find a new job. He told me I'm not doing enough and instructed me to feed every 2 hours on the dot, PLUS feed an additional 2 oz. Now, let's just do some quick research, here, and here, and here, and one more,  and we find that a one week old baby can only fit 2 oz of liquid in his tummy at one time...... However, trusting the all knowing doctor I do as he advised only to loose a whole ounce of my freshly pumped breastmilk when the baby spat it all out. Well that was the end of that. I still fed every two hours on the dot, which by the way is super difficult. Not only did I have to wake up the baby, but he wasn't really hungry! And forget about night time! Between waking the baby up, feeding him, changing his diaper, and pumping, I was sleeping in one hour increments.

All this work to return to the doctor for another weight check on Wednesday and find out he has actually LOST weight. WHAAAAAAT!!!!!????? Immediately I lost it. I started crying while we were waiting for the pediatrician. At this point every horrible thought ran through my mind. Visions of living in the NICU, or some other horrible disease that my baby obviously has.

Luckily, we were able to see our normal pediatrician. She comes in and starts normal conversation, looks at my face, stops, and says "Are you OK?"

No I'm not OK. My baby is dying!!!!! I haven't slept in a week. There is no way to fix this problem!!!

OK, so I actually just said, "I'm just really worried," and promptly began to cry.

To which she said, "He's fine. Don't worry. We're going to fix him."

And you know what? We did! She listened to the whole saga from the moment he was born, and then she checked under his tongue. She told me to definitely stop feeding every two hours, and just feed on demand when he's hungry. She suggested having his frenulum, the little tissue that connects the underside of the tongue to the bottom of the mouth, snipped. She said she believed that this would help his latch.

By the grace of God we got into the specialist the same day. The procedure was quick and baby was a super champ!

                                                    (Before Procedure: sad, hungry baby)

When we returned to see our pediatrician on Friday, he had gained 2 ounces!!!

I cannot express how relieved I am. And I haven't cried since!!!

                                                   
                                                   (After Procedure: full, happy baby!)

Party of Five

To say that this labor was the longest would be an understatement. Beginning on Tuesday with my membrane sweep I started having some lovely contractions. They were steady, intense, and gradually increasing. And then all of a sudden they stop....

This happened every day.... for a week.

And every day my spirits fell a little more, until I no longer believed this baby was going to come out on his own.

On Monday March 19th, I was scheduled to go in for fetal testing since I was over the 41 week mark. I woke at around 2 am with more contractions which I didn't pay much mind to since they were just the same as the rest of the week. By 7 am the contractions weren't slowing, and they were much more intense so we decided to just go in. At this point I figured if nothing happened they would just rip the baby out and I was at my wits end.

When they did the initial check I was at 4 cm so they admitted me right away. I cannot tell you how happy I was at this point. Not only was I 4 cm, but my amazing midwife was also in which meant that she would be there with me.

Now, let's remember that I got to the hospital at about 9 am and was at 4 cm. After hours of laboring when I was checked again, I was still at 4cm. I started having flash backs of my labor with Harper where I labored for hours and hours and never made it past 4 cm. 20 hours later he's born. So, naturally I became super frustrated and wanted to give up right then and there. Luckily I have a great support team, and they rooted me on.

But then, hours later, around 4 pm, I'm checked again.... still 4cm. So, at this point my midwife says, how are you feeling? Do you want to talk options? Yes. Yes I do. We decide to go with the epidural.

Now, initially I wanted to do a completely natural birth again, like I had with Gideon. But, for whatever reason, my labors haven't gotten easier, they've become more difficult. So, I came to terms with it pretty quick and accepted the drugs.

I am actually so glad I did. I was able to sleep for an hour, and within that time went from 4 cm, to ready to push out a baby! And you know what, I was actually able to enjoy it. I wasn't too tired, I was happy, and relaxed. It turned out to be a wonderful birth experience.

I pushed out that beautiful baby, sunny-side up, they say, and it was finally over. My last baby. No tearing, no c-section. Just a healthy baby boy.

The End

Tried to keep it short and sweet.... We'll talk more about the dirty details later... 😉

41

Ever wonder what it's like being 41 weeks pregnant?

It's awesome! What makes it especially awesome is having contractions for days with no end in sight.

When you have your membranes swept and it sends your body into "labor" mode for a few hours and then suddenly stops, that's cool.

Then the next night, same thing happens. Oh wait, except these contractions are much longer and more intense before they suddenly stop.

I haven't slept for about 4 days now....

I've lost all hope. This baby is never going to come out. He's just going to live in my uterus for the rest of my life.

The Unexpected Truth About Parenting

One day when your child turns about 2 years old, something miraculous happens.

That child recognizes their own ability to assert their wants and needs. It's a beautiful chaotic beginning to a long difficult life for child and parent.

The child has a new super power that enables them to be the parent's worse nightmare and greatest accomplishment all at the same time.

But this is not the most miraculous part of the process. Unbeknownst to them, the parent will awake one day with the ability to speak a different language. While this seems like a gift, the parent has no control when they will speak the new language. This is a language which is not understandable by the toddler, and will even at times make the parent say something that clearly means the opposite of what they actually mean.

Example:

Parent: Harper please pick up that toy you threw across the room.

Child: NOOOOO!!!!!!!!! (picks up another toy and chucks it at parent)

Parent: You need to pick that up right now, and say sorry to Mommy.

Child: NOOOOO!!!! I go play in my room.

Parent: If you walk away you are going to have time out.

Child: (walks away)

You can envision the rest of the scenario......

God help us.

Like a Big Rubber Ball

I have entered the round stage of pregnancy.

My face is round.
My body is round.
My fingers are round.
My ankles and feet get round when I sit for too long.

In order to get out of bed I have to roll my body.
There is no upside to this stage other than the signal that things are coming to an end.

Soapbox Time

I am devastated by the disunity in our nation. It is unfortunate that people let their passions interfere with seeing what is real, and cruel in the world. Instead of pointing fingers at the bad guys, we turn on one another for our individual views and make each other to blame.

I don't know one person who believes that mass shootings are positive events. I don't believe the most gun loving person with AR Rifles, and hunting trophies, and busts of dead animals on their walls thinks people dying due to gun violence is a good thing. No one's giving out high fives to these people.

I don't like guns. I don't know why people have them in their homes. Here's the thing: we have certain rights in our country that other countries don't have. That's a fact. We have a different culture in our country than other countries have. There are LOTS of problems. Guns are only one of them.

There needs to be change. Clearly. There are lots of suggestions of what to do. I cannot say what is the right thing to do.

What I do know, is that if the government tries to put a gun in my classroom and train me to use it, but can't afford to buy me enough pencils for the year, paper for our copy machine, books for our library, food for every child regardless of economic status, renovations to classrooms that are falling apart, playground equipment, PE teachers for every child, every day...... I can't even qualify for $250 deduction on my taxes anymore because it costs too much for our government.....

Something is wrong.

I don't know the answer, but it can't be more guns.

Being a teacher has turned into not just educating our students in academic areas, but also social emotional areas as well. We aren't just educators, we are counselors, therapists, and now, apparently, security guards. We are forced to think everyday about how we would keep our students safe if there were a shooter on campus. We have to think about escape plans. We think about all the "what ifs". If you think your child's teacher doesn't have nightmares about this happening at their school, you are mistaken. There is no greater nightmare.

It's enough to make me rethink my career. We aren't safe. Our children aren't safe. And that's the bottom line.

*Steps off soapbox*

Good Talk

Things I want to hear as a nine month pregnant woman:

Wow! You look great!
You're amazing!
I brought you this donut.
Is that a new top?
Your hair is shining!
I love that you are having your third boy.
You make being pregnant look easy.
Can I get you some pizza?


Things I don't want to hear (but have actually heard) as a nine month pregnant woman:

Oh my god!
What are you still doing here?
This is your THIRD? BOY?
Eating for two?
You look tired.
Oh my gosh your feet are so huge!
What were you thinking?
Are you getting your tubes tied?
How many pieces of pizza did you have?
Don't do that.
I can get that for you.
You poor thing.


.....................................................................

Yes, I want pizza and donuts all the time. Yes, I'm tired. Yes, this is my third child. Yes, it's a boy. Let's not point out the obvious.

Also, I always want pizza and donuts, no matter how pregnant or not pregnant I happen to be.

Boy Mom

When you find out you're going to have a third son, you go through a lot of emotions. Most of all dread.

After having our two crazy boys, I hoped I had paid my dues. I hoped that I would defy statistics and we would end up with a girl. No. That was dumb.

We didn't even have a boy name picked. We used up the two good ones on our other boys.

Then there's anger. Son of a bitch now I'm never going to have a girl because I will not be having 4 kids.

And sadness..... I'll never have a little girl. Now I'll only be surrounded by smelly, loud, obnoxious boys my entire life.

And then you read all the other "boy mom" blogs/articles, watch the videos, read the memes, and you realize that all you've done is complain about having another baby.

I know there are so many women who are unable to bear children. Who long for just one, no matter the sex. And here I am bitching about having three healthy boys.

So, I am looking to the bright side. I am going to be the only female surrounded by four adoring men. We all know the bond between a mom and her son. I get that three times. I will always be protected. I will always be laughing. And yes, I will deal with lots of pee on the ground, lots of fart/burp/puke jokes. I will always have loud fighting (both play and real) in my house. I will be forever stressed that in their rough housing something or someone is going to get broken.

But, I will never be without love. And there is nothing better than that.